“Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.” - Shel Silverstein

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Munchkin Mania - It's A.D.D. Darlin'

Let's cut to the chase, Little Bear has ADD. He's not one of those crazy kids bouncing off the walls, he isn't hyper. But spend enough time with him and it makes itself known. This was kinda tough for me at first, but not because I was upset that my child might not be perfect (he is still perfect I assure you) I had other ideas and experiences that made me super cautious.

First I need to tell you that my younger sister has ADD, the kind with the "H" sandwiched in there, the kind that is characterized by children who climb furniture and leave a path of destruction. So having lived with her as most siblings do, this became my idea of kids with ADD. Little Bear does not fit that description. His busy-ness is not so much of body as it is of mind. He loves to talk and never runs out of material and he finds it harder than most to focus and sit. But I thought that he was just being a 6year old boy. I found it difficult to equate his behavior with ADD because of the extreme case I had grown up knowing.

Then there's the matter of me being so well read, my husband might say "too well". You may have caught the idea that my kids are gifted or very bright. I have read quite a few professional journals discussing the misdiagnosis of ADD being placed on a child who is simply gifted. I was not interested in slapping a label on my child, even the gifted label is used with caution, it's not something I feel the need to tell everyone I meet. So yeah I was not in a hurry to jump on the teacher's band wagon when she said he might have ADD. My reaction was to refer him to the Gifted Specialist in the school for evaluation.

There was no doubt that Little Bear is gifted, however (don't you just love the "howevers") she recommended that I talk to his doctor about ADD. She is very experienced with children and with bright children and I trust her implicitly with my other brilliant minds, so I had to trust her here too. While I was waiting for his appointment to roll around Little Bear graduated from Kindergarten. It was that day, during the cap and gown ceremony that I saw it and knew in my heart that he was indeed struggling with ADD. I stood behind the rows of graduates and watched. As the program dragged on slowly all the children were losing patience and fidgeting and playing. One by one it seemed they would give up listening and enter their own much more entertaining world. However, there was one student who had been in their own world from the moment they took a seat, and that was my Little Bear. For nearly two hours I watched his antics as he did everything in his power to make staying in his seat interesting. I cried.

My tears weren't due to sadness that my child was flawed. He is not flawed, he's magnificent. My tears were sadness that I had taken so long to realize that this was in fact what was going on. He had struggled through Kindergarten and barely skated by in some areas and if I had recognized it sooner he wouldn't have had to. But I can't beat myself up for being a cautious and studious mom. It's my job to protect my kids.

We got his diagnosis over the summer, the psychologist was so kind. He said "Oh it's ADD darlin', but thankfully without the hyperactivity component." Which he related does make it more difficult to identify. Apparently I'm not the only one with preconceived ideas about kids with ADD being "high strung". Now as a mother the idea of medicating my child was not a welcome one. But I had to do what I could to help my child and I trust my pediatrician who handles Little Bear's treatment personally. No P.A.s or nurse practitioners. I have seen first hand the effects of Ritalin on my sister when the dosing wasn't proper. I have also had experience with adults who basically pretended they had ADD just to be allowed to legally take "speed".

This kind of stuff makes treatment for ADD seem scary to say the least. There is a social stigma about giving kids medicine to help their ADD meanwhile there are moms who give their kids Benedryl to make them go to sleep. This is why. Parents have misgivings about using a drug that is so closely related to an illegal substance, with due reason when one thinks about the personality altering effects drug addiction can have. This is the stuff that gets all the attention. I'm sure many parents don't realize that it's the alcohol in Benedryl that makes their kid sleep. That they could make their kids alcohol dependent. No one thinks like that because you can go into Target and buy it off the shelf. Just like you can buy liquor from a package store. The stuff they commonly use to treat ADD requires a prescription and is a federally controlled substance (Yikes!), either that or your getting it from a guy in a dark alley whose face looks like a pincushion with a goatee and 15 tattoos right? Not exactly, but you get the idea.

So there you are saying OMG this lady is advocating medicating children with ADD, giving them mind altering drugs! LOL Well yes and no. Yes I advocate prescription treatment of children with ADD under certain circumstances. No these medicines do not alter children's minds, not on the level you think. My son is still very much himself. He is still busy and an active boy. The only alteration is that he no longer has that wind-up toy quality about him. He can pay attention and play games, follow directions (because he's able to listen) and is able to block out stimuli that used to drive him to distraction. He is still a little imp! Medicine doesn't take away a child's personality.

There are alternatives to medication. Many parents manage ADD with diet. I did not explore diet for several reasons, one being that I feel diet is financially difficult to maintain. Specialized foods cost more. The biggest problem I have with diet is that in reality you have to put everyone on the same diet and that breeds resentment among siblings. You could just put one child on a diet but that would certainly make him feel like the odd man out and they already feel that way as ADD effects their interaction with their peers. Kids with ADD struggle socially as it is, no need to compound things.

There are also natural remedies that are said to help treat ADD such as the tonics sold by Native Remedies. A word of caution here, don't be so quick to believe everything you read regarding medications on sites like these because they are after all trying to sell a product. Do your own research. Natural remedies have side effects too, so be sure to do your homework. I advise you to check if Amazon.com sells a particular formula you are looking at because Amazon customers leave unbiased feedback on products which could prove invaluable. We did not chose to try natural remedies because the cost is high and there are no clinical trials to prove the effectiveness of any herbal medicinal. The FDA doesn't evaluate them. It's a lot of money to spend on a maybe. But for parents dead against medication for their child this is a very appealing alternative and probably is more cost effective and simplistic than dietary treatments.

Here's where I wrap this up all pretty like : )

If you know or suspect your child has ADD talk to your pediatrician. Even if you don't want to use medication the doctor is a valuable resource for monitoring the severity of your child's ADD and knowing whether or not they are also hyperactive (which changes the rules a bit). Do your homework, become an expert. Whichever treatment option you chose do something! Don't tell yourself he's fine or it'll go away. It won't go away, and you have no idea how deeply ADD effects a child until you start a treatment plan. You also will not know your child's full potential and abilities unless you pursue a form of treatment. I'm telling you from experience, as a mother.

I'll be blogging now and then about Little Bear and his progress. He has recently restarted treatment after a lapse in insurance coverage and I look forward to sharing our journey with you.

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